Murphy's Law
by TartBabeLover
Summary: When everything starts falling apart who will be there to help Stephanie put it all back together? No Babes are harmed and only minor Cupcake bashing. Be warned, it is a tart story!
1. First Date Or Not

_A.N.: Hey everyone! This story will be a tart so if you're not a fan of Steph being with someone other than Joe or Ranger you might as well stop reading now! :) I don't currently have a BETA so any mistakes are entirely my own and only add to the uniqueness of the story. Please read and leave reviews! _

**Chapter 1 – A First Date…. Or Not**

Joe leaned back into his chair and sat his spoon down on the table. He had just finished eating his chocolate gelato and now looked as if he wasn't looking forward two whatever came next. He looked up and me and said, "Cupcake, we need to talk."

Nothing good ever comes out of that sentence and I knew it. I should have been prepared, because ever since Joe picked me from my apartment tonight my spidey sense had been going crazy. Not only that, but we were actually eating at Rossini's.

Joe and I had been dating for almost a year and I could honestly say he had never once taken me out on a real date. Sure we would occasionally meet up a Pino's for a meatball sub or a pizza, but in all honesty those were more of a convenience then an actual planned date. For the most part, our relationship tended to revolve around sex.

Don't get me wrong. Sex with Joe has always been great but after we filled our initial need it seemed as if we would always find some way to pick an argument and move into our off-again stage. Lately, I'd been feeling as if something had been missing in our relationship and the more we fought the more I began to think that maybe the great sex just wasn't worth all the fighting our relationship seemed to bring.

Our main fight had always been about my job. It didn't seem to matter to him that I loved it and that I enjoyed the thrill of the chase and the mystery I had to solve to find my man or that my record spoke for itself. I was one of the few bounty hunters that could actually claim and 99% capture rate. Sure, I rolled around in garbage and other miscellaneous substances occasionally, but I was good at my job or maybe I was just lucky.

Another main point he always seemed to bring up was my relationship with my own personal batman, Ranger Manoso. Joe was positive that there was more than just friendship between the two of us. Truth be told, if sex with Joe was great then sex with Ranger was nothing short of amazing. Ranger and I had and unexplainable connection and even being in the same room with him made me warm me in places I'd rather not think about right now. But I had always been faithful to Joe, after my first marriage to the Dick I would never even think of cheating on anyone. That marriage had ended with me finding Dickie on my dining room table with my archnemisis Joyce Barnhardt.

There was no real way to explain the relationship I had with Ranger. He is my best friend. He understands me in a way that no one else does and gives me the ability to spread my wings and fly. He supports me unconditionally and is always there for me when I'm in trouble. While we do share an explainable connection to each other, Ranger has always been clear that there is no chance of a relationship between us. Although, on occasion he has mentioned that maybe someday there will be, but how long can a girl wait on a promise of someday?

When Joe had called me this morning to invite me to Rossini's for dinner I wasn't sure what to expect. My birthday was tomorrow so I thought that maybe it was an early celebration, but considering Joe had failed to remember any important day so far in our relationship, I thought him remembering my birthday was a stretch. The next thought that had crossed my mind was that maybe he was really going to propose again.

At one point in time, Joe and I had been briefly engaged but Joe had never technically asked me and had only told his family so that they would leave us alone. The thought of marriage had always given me hives and our engagement hadn't lasted long. Joe had always wanted the 'Burg ideal, which was the white picket fence with 2.5 kids and a dog, but the thought had never been what I wanted. I wasn't sure what I would say if Joe actually seriously asked me to marry him, but with the state of our relationship I couldn't see either of us being happily tied to one another forever.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts as I swallowed the last bit of my tiramisu and looked up at him, "Okay, what do we need to talk about?"

His eyes locked with mine and he asked, "If I asked you to marry me right now, what would you say?"

I gulped and I swear I saw three hives appear on my arm. Did I want to marry Joe? Could I even see myself growing old with him or ever wanting to have kids with him? Sadly, I knew I couldn't. The thought of a 40 year old Joe walking up to me and telling me the boys missed me made me want to be sick and the thought of planning a wedding and walking down the aisle with him terrified me.

He must have seen the terror on my face because he sighed and said, "That's what I thought. I know you love me in some way, but can you actually say that you're in love with me?"

Could I? I knew that I did love Joe, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I was in love with him because of our history. Joe was the first boy I'd ever had a crush on, he'd fingered me playing choo-choo when I was six, and taken my virginity when I was sixteen.

I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I replied, "No. I'm sorry, Joe. I guess it should say something that I can't even picture us together growing old."

Joe nodded as if he had expected this answer, "I got a promotion. I'm going to be leading a new task force for the Baltimore PD. I'm going this weekend to find a place to live and I'll be moving at the end of the month."

Suddenly I understood why he'd taken me out tonight, it wasn't our first date but instead he was actually breaking up with me. "We're done then?"

He flagged a waitress down and handed her his credit card to pay for our meal. "I'd like to stay friends, but after I tell you this you may not want that."

He was silent for a minute and I felt my stomach fall. I wasn't sure what he was about to tell me but I knew that I wouldn't like it.

"Terry is going with me." He paused again and then continued, "She's pregnant, and with her family ties we couldn't stay here unless I quit working as a cop."

My mind was whirling. Terry was pregnant? Wait. She was going with him, as in she was _with_ him? "The baby is yours?" He nodded. "How far along is she?"

He looked away from my gaze, "Twelve weeks. She got pregnant while working with me on the case I had to go to Newark for."

I remembered the case vaguely, but I also knew for a fact that we had been in one of our on-again phases while he was gone. I'd always wondered about the relationship between Terry and Joe. At one point in time I had thought they were cheating, but according to Joe they had only been working a case together. Now I wasn't so sure that was the truth.

I felt numb. Was there something wrong with me for two of the guys I'd had relationships with to feel as if they had to find someone else on the side? I needed to get out of here. I could already feel myself wanting to fall apart and I'd really like to be at home with a pint of Ben & Jerry's before I did that.

"Can you take me home?"

Joe gazed at me for a moment as if he wanted to keep talking, but he must have noticed something in my face because instead he just stood up and led me to the car without speaking.

The ride home was awkward at best. When we finally pulled up to my apartment complex I was ready to pull my hair out at the tension in the car. Instead I just opened the door and looked back at him. I didn't want to know, but I had to ask. "How long?"

He looked as if he didn't want to answer and at first I thought he might not, but I guess he decided I had the right to know. "Six months. I'm really sorry, Steph. I never meant to hurt you."

I could see in his eyes that he was honestly telling me the truth, but how did he think that I wouldn't be hurt by him having a second relationship behind my back for six months? Instead of replying I got out of the car and made my way up to my apartment.

I went straight to the freezer and dug into the back where I kept my emergency pint of Half Baked and then made my way to my bed, kicked my shoes off, and pulled my dress over my head before digging in.

Tomorrow I would be 31 and what did I have to say for my life? I had an ex-husband who cheated on me before the ink was dry on our marriage certificate and an ex-boyfriend who cheated on me for half of our relationship. I lived paycheck to paycheck in an apartment that a two year old could break into and while I love my job, I'm constantly getting injured or stalked.

Was this what I wanted for the rest of my life? The worst part was that I didn't even feel sad about the ending of my relationship with Joe. I sighed and finished the last bite of my ice cream. I may not be sure if I ever want to be married again or have children, but I knew that I wanted a relationship with someone I truly loved and who loved me for who I am.

That had never been Joe, he had always been with me but always expected that eventually I'd become tired of being a bounty hunter and give it up to become the ideal 'Burg housewife for him. He never seemed to understand that doing that would slowly kill me.

Then there was Ranger. I know I love Ranger, but I can't be sure that I'm in love with him either. I have an undeniable attraction to him, but to be in love with someone you really need to know them. I can list on one hand the number of things I know about Ranger's past and most of those things I've figured out along the way. He has never willingly opened up to me about his past.

I need to make some changes in my life, and I'm going to start with my love life. Then I was going to get serious about my job. I know I'm good, but I could be better. It's not normal to be out run by 80 year old men. I sighed and closed my eyes as I began to drift off. Tomorrow it was time to grow up and in order to do that I needed sleep.


	2. Visitors in the Night

_A.N.: So just to clarify, in this story no Babes will be hurt! Just in case you didn't know, I don't own any of Janet Evanovich's wonderful work, but I do enjoy playing with her characters. Please R&R!_

**Chapter 2 – Visitors in the Night**

I woke up slightly disoriented a little after midnight. At first I was confused about what had woken me until I felt the slight tingling at the back of my neck indicating that Ranger was here. I laid in bed blinking for a few seconds as the fog in my brain slowly faded and then glanced at the chair in the corner of my room. Sure enough, Ranger was sitting there staring at me.

He gave me his wolf grin and said, "I love the new pajamas."

I glanced down and blushed. I hadn't gotten around to throwing on one of my normal t-shirts to sleep in and instead I was still in my lacy barely there read bra and thong. I silently reached down and picked up one of Ranger's old t-shirts that I had left lying on the floor the night before and threw it over my head. At least there were some advantages to being a slob.

"Joe and I broke up."

Ranger blinked at me for a second before just saying, "Babe."

I wasn't sure if this was an 'are you okay, Babe' or an 'you'll get back together you always do, Babe.' So instead of responding I just kept going, "Terry's twelve weeks pregnant and Joe took a job in Baltimore so that they could be together."

A dark look crossed his face, "He cheated on you?"

I sighed, "Yes, apparently it's been going on for six months."

He growled, "You want me to have a talk with him?"

"No! I don't want you getting in trouble, he's still a cop. Plus, it made me realize some things and maybe it was good for me in the long run. I wasn't in love with him, and I think I was just with him because I was afraid of being alone."

"You're never alone, Babe." He said as he reached over and tucked one of my wayward curls behind my ear. "What did it help you realize?"

I sighed. "I want to get better at my job. I've decided it's time that I take myself more seriously and I'm going to start exercising and learning some self-defense. Who knows, maybe I'll even start carrying my gun."

He let out a laugh, "Why don't you come work for RangeMan? The guys would love a chance to work with you and I'm sure they'll even fight over who gets to train you."

"Are you sure you want me to work for you? I already blow up enough cars without having an entire fleet at my disposal." I joked.

"I'd love to have you working with us and so would the guys. You know you have some of the best instincts I've ever seen and I would love to have you working with a partner." He gave a smile, "Besides I can always replace cars, there's only one you."

I wasn't sure if I wanted to work at RangeMan, but I knew it was probably my best option to get the training I needed. So I just said, "Let me think about it."

He nodded as if he had known this would be my response and sat back running his hands through my curls. We were silent for a few minutes before he said, "Did you have any more realizations tonight?"

"Yes." I turned around so that I could look him in the eyes, "I realized that I deserve better than Joe. I deserve someone who loves me for who I am without trying to change me or force me to be someone I'm not. If I had stayed with Joe I would have eventually died inside and I never would have been happy."

I could see the pride in his eyes before he even spoke the words, "Proud of you, Babe."

As always those words made me feel warm and fuzzy inside and knew that even if I didn't want to, it was time to have a serious conversation with Ranger.

"Will we ever have a someday?"

Ranger's blank mask fell and I could see his surprise at my question along with something I couldn't put a name to. He reached out and started twirling one of my curls around his finger and for a few minutes I wasn't sure if he would respond at all.

Finally, he looked up at me and this time I could see something like regret in his features. "No."

I could fell a piece of my heart break and I felt a few tears escape my eyes as he continued, "You make me wish things were different. I gave my life to the army and the government years ago. I don't regret that because I know I'm the best at what I do, but sometimes I wish I could just be with you and we could have our someday."

"Why can't we?"

He reached up and wiped some of the tears from my face. "I survive my missions by locking myself away. I lock up my past and my emotions in order to keep going through horrible situations, but to be with you I'd have to let myself free and I'm not sure I could ever lock it away again. If we were together you would eventually come to resent the fact I couldn't open up to you. It would drive us apart, Babe. I can't do that. I need you in my life too much to give away what we already have."

He was right, and I knew it. It was what I'd been thinking only hours earlier. I knew next to nothing about the man sitting beside me. I was curious by nature, and I would eventually tire of his refusal to share anything about his past or his family.

He gave me a small smile, "I love you, Steph. That's why I'm willing to walk away. I want you to be happy, and I know that I will never be able to give that to you. I'll always be here though. Anytime you need me."

I smiled sadly, "No price."

He laughed, "Yeah, Babe. No price."

He held me silently running his hands through my curls as I let go of any ideas of us ever finding our someday together. While I knew he was right, it was hard to let go of the what might have been but at the same time I would never give up what we have now. I needed his unconditional support in my life, and I had a feeling that he needed my unconditional acceptance. Part of me was sad that I knew he would never open himself up enough to meet someone else, and more than anything I didn't want him alone. He deserved happiness more than anyone after everything he had sacrificed.

I'm not sure how long we sat there before he spoke again, "I actually came here to tell you I'll be gone for a few months."

"Off to save the world again, batman?"

I felt his silent laughter as he said, "Yeah. Hopefully it will only be three months, but it could be up to six. Will you go work at RangeMan? It would make me feel better to know that you're safe."

I sighed. I knew that it was my best option for the training I needed, and I knew that the Merry Men would all support me as I trained. "Yes, I will."

He stood up and leaned over me before slowly lowering his lips to mine. This kiss was different from the ones we had shared before. It wasn't filled with sexual tension but instead full of love with a sense of regret for what would never be. It was a good-bye kiss, and I knew that when Ranger returned from this mission our relationship would be different. We would no longer be stealing kisses in dark alleys and flirting continuously, but our friendship would remain and it would be stronger.

When it ended we broke apart and he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, "I'll see you as soon as I get back and I'll let Tank know you decided to work with us. You can go meet with him on Monday to discuss the specifics."

I smiled, "Don't get shot."

"Don't go crazy." And with that he silently made his way out of my apartment.

I lay back down on the bed and sent up a prayer that Ranger would return home safely before drifting back to sleep.

_Short chapter, I know, but the next will be longer and Lester will finally make his appearance!_


	3. Distraction Action

_A/N: Here you go, Potterwench! I finally got this one finished! I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted a chapter for this story and I'll try to post more frequently!_

Chapter 3 – Distraction Action

I awoke to the wonderful smell of cooking bacon. To a normal person this might be cause for alarm because I actually live alone. But considering that my apartment tends to the equivalent of grand central station, I'm actually used to people being here when they shouldn't be. Plus, the bad guys never tend to cook me breakfast before whisking me away.

My stomach let out a horrific growl that I'm surprised didn't bring my guest running into my bedroom, so I rolled out of bed and threw on a pair of sweat pants over my tiny boxers before throwing my hair up in a halfway decent pony tail and making my way into my kitchen for what smelled like a great breakfast.

Sure enough, Lester Santos was standing in my kitchen just finishing up some scrambled eggs and throwing them on a couple of plates with the bacon and some fresh fruit. Les was one of the Merry Men that I was actually closest to. For the past six months, it seemed as if Ranger had just been making excuses for me to have a RangeMan partner with me at all times and with the exception of a few weeks where Les went on vacation it had always been him.

I had tried questioning him about it in the beginning. After all, I hadn't actually had a stalker in the past four months and with my added muscle I also hadn't managed to have any troubles with my skips, but he had just smiled and said that he liked hanging out with me anyway or making some excuse for why Ranger felt the need to assign me a partner. I kept thinking that since Lester was part of the Core team they would eventually give me someone else as a shadow, but it had never happened.

Lester smiled at me as I entered then he picked up the plates and sat them down on my kitchen table. "You're just in time, Beautiful. Happy birthday!" He picked up a small package and handed it to me, "Ranger asked me to give this to you this morning."

I smiled and took the box from him. It was very obviously a Tiffany's box, and at one point in time I would have been angry when Ranger spent so much money on me, but over the years I had come to realize that it was just another way he took care of me. Plus arguing about just wasted air, he always managed to get me to take his gifts simply by saying please.

I opened the box and found a beautiful platinum butterfly with its wings spread open and a small note tucked into the lid that simply read, 'keep flying'. I smiled at the fact that he knew me so well and felt my heart swell as it always did when he encouraged or praised me.

I slipped the necklace on and picked up a couple of the grapes on my plate then tossed them into Rex's cage for him before chowing down.

"Thanks for breakfast; I'm surprised you're actually up this early on a Saturday. Did you not have a hot date last night?" I asked.

Les wiggled his eyebrows at me, "No one's hotter than you, but no I didn't have a date. I had monitor duty until midnight last night."

We ate the rest of our breakfast in silence with the exception of my occasional moaning in regards to the fact that he had made me real bacon instead of the fake bacon that Ranger was always trying to force me to eat. When we were done he made me go wait on the couch while he cleaned the dishes.

I flipped on the television and started surfing but I ended up turning it off when I couldn't find anything more interesting than a rerun of Growing Pains. When Les was done he came into the living room and sat down next to me.

"I know it's your birthday, but we were really wondering if you would be able to do a distraction for us tonight. We need to bring in Juan Perez by midnight or we lose the bond."

The sad thing was that I had absolutely no plans for my birthday. My mother had invited me to have a birthday dinner at her house, but after the whole Joe fiasco I'm sure the burg grapevine had gone crazy with all sorts of rumors and I just couldn't find it in myself to go set through another version of my mother's 'Joe is your last hope for happiness' speech. Plus since my best friend was in some foreign country probably leading a rebellion and Lula had gone with Tank to New York City for the weekend, I had absolutely no one else to hang out with either.

"Sure, I don't see why not. When, where, and what kind of dress?"

Les smiled, "I'll pick you up at 2000 hours and he should be at Alure tonight. He seems to go after girls who are slightly drunk and showing a lot of cleavage."

I nodded, "I'm sure that I probably have something that fits the bill."

He wiggled his eyebrows at me and said, "The guys were also wondering if you'd stick around after and dance with us for your birthday."

Who could say no to going out with a bunch of overprotective men who were definitely easy on the eyes? Especially since for the first time in my recent history I am completely single and not tied down to anyone.

"Sure, I'd love to!"

He grinned, "Great, the guys are excited some of them have a hard time finding girls to go out dancing with so be prepared to be exhausted by the time you get back!"

I laughed, "I think I can handle that!"

He stood up and kissed the top of my head, "I'll leave and let you relax for a little bit, I'm sure you're probably going to go back to sleep. Enjoy it while you can!"

I sighed, "I guess that means that Ranger told you he talked me into working and RangeMan?"

"Yes, the guys are already fighting over who's going to get you as their partner. Unfortunately for them, I already called dibs!"

I laughed at the idea that anyone would fight over working with me, after all I'm pretty much a walking disaster when it comes to bounty hunting!

Apparently Lester's ESP was working this morning because a dark look crossed his face before he bent down and looked me in the eyes. "You are not a walking disaster, Steph. You have the best instincts out of anyone I've ever seen except for maybe Ranger. You never give up and you always get your man. Sure, sometimes you might come out with a few questionable substances on you and a blown up car, but you always get back up and dust yourself off for the next time." He paused, "I'm not saying you're perfect, but you're already taking a step in the right direction by coming to work with us. We'll train you and help you get even better and then you'll be unstoppable."

I sighed, "Sometimes I wish I could see myself the way that you and Ranger see me."

And I did. It was why I was constantly going back to Joe and why I'd let Ranger constantly pull me into the alley at the bonds office. My mother had been telling me for as long as I remember that I was a disappointment in every way, and then Joe had always told me I was horrible at my job and that I should be settling down with him and getting married. Somewhere along the way I'd begun to believe what they were telling me.

He smiled, "Well, we'll just have to keep telling you until you believe us."

And with that he walked out of my apartment.

*LS*LS*LS*LS*LS*LS*LS*LS*LS*LS*LS*LS*

When we pulled up to Alure that night my spidey sense was starting to hum, but since it looked like it was getting ready to rain and I had been feeling ominous about my birthday I pushed the feeling aside. It also could be because this is the first distraction I had ever done without either Ranger or Tank watching my back. As much as I trust Les, it was odd to not have either of the top two RangeMen around.

"Okay, Blinkie and Woody are at the front door, Hal and Cal are at the back, Hector is inside, and Bobby is behind the bar." He paused and handed me my wire, "This guy is dangerous, Steph. Be careful. Hector will be sure to keep you in sight and I'll be inside a few minutes after you."

I took the wire and secured it with tape on the underside of my breast. I was wearing a black mini skirt and a blood red halter that dipped low enough to show a decent amount of cleavage without being so low as to look trashy and I'd paired it why my favorite pair of black FMPs that made my calves look amazing.

"Got it, I'll be careful."

I took a deep breath and climbed out of the explorer before making my way into the club. It was early so there wasn't a lot of people at the bar and Juan was easy to spot. I glanced around and found Hector sitting a couple of stools away from Juan which helped me relax a little bit.

I walked over to the bar stumbling a little to make it appear as if I was already a little tipsy and leaned over it so that my dress rode up. When I noticed Bobby was at the other end of the bar I made an irritated sound that caught Juan's attention.

He leaned towards me and brushed a few curls over my shoulder making me cringe internally. I hated when skips felt the need to touch me before we had even spoken.

"Need a drink, chica?"

I glanced over at him and let my eyes linger so that he would think I was checking him out. He wasn't actually that bad to look at. He had brown sugar skin, dark chocolate eyes, and a dark brown crew cut. He was built but definitely not up to RangeMan's high standards.

I licked my lips and let out a fake giggle, "That would be great."

He waved down Bobby who made his way down to us. "What can I get for you?"

Juan looked at me and I answered, "Gin and tonic."

Bobby walked down the bar to mix my drink since I knew he would be making a nonalcoholic version. He came back a minute later and winked at me before sitting it down in front of me and walking to another customer.

I sipped on the straw and glanced at Juan, "Are you here alone?"

"I'm not alone now that you're here." He paused and let his eyes roam over my body. "What about you, chica? Did your man let you out all by yourself tonight?"

Something about the way he said that made my skin crawl, but I tried to push it back and started playing with my straw using my tongue.

"I'm single for the moment. I came with my friend but she left me for the first guy who offered to take her home." I gave him a slow grin, "I'm a little pickier."

He placed his hand on my lower back and began to rub small circles into it. "And what are you looking for, chica?"

I stepped between his open legs and ran my finger down his chest. "I'm looking for someone who can keep up with me and not pressure me for anything more than one night."

He smiled, "That sounds like something I'm willing to give."

"Then let's get out of here." I threw back the rest of my drink and sat the glass back down on the bar before pulling him towards the door.

We were almost out of the building when I felt him push me into a small doorway and into what appeared to be a janitorial closet.

"I'm not generally a closet kind of girl." I said trying to make light of the situation and give the guys an idea of where I was.

He pushed me against the wall and shoved his pelvis into mine then he ran a finger down my neck and down the deep v of my halter top. I pushed against him and made an irritated sound, "Come on, I only live a couple of blocks away."

"I think here will do quite nicely." He said and I felt him reach down to unbutton my skirt.

I was suddenly terrified, where were the guys and why weren't they here yet? I could feel him struggling to get the button to my skirt open and I began to struggle against him, but he was too strong and he had me backed into the corner.

He leaned against me and put his lips against my ear before whispering, "That's it chica, fight me."

I looked desperately around the small closet, but I couldn't see anything I could use as a weapon. There were some liquor bottles on some shelves in the corner but they were too far away for me to reach. He started to reach for the tie at the neck of halter and I did the only thing I could think of. I shoved my knee into his balls with as much force as I could from the position I was in.

Unfortunately, from the way he was pushing against me it wasn't enough. He let out a roar of pain, but he didn't go down instead he lifted me off the ground and literally threw me towards the shelves in the opposite corner.

Then several things happened at once. I felt my head hit the shelves with enough force to knock down some of the liquor bottles and then the door burst open just as I fell on top of them. I could feel the bottles break and the glass cut into my skin.

I looked up just in time to see Les pick Perez up and begin pounding him within an inch of his life. I tried to call out to him to stop, but I could feel myself losing consciousness and it wasn't long before the world went black.


End file.
